I worked for over a decade in some of the most masculine industries in the corporate world: property development, railways and finally football.
Then I remembered something.
I hate football!
On paper I had a glamorous corporate career in London and achieved great success...
I worked as a Marketing Strategist on some of London’s most exciting projects, launching a train station to HRH Queen, and bossing around the top players of one of the UK's greatest football teams.
But inside I was miserable. Not only had I disconnected from my creativity and splintered from my softer, feminine self - my own sensitive soul began to sting from the climate of bullying, disrespect, sexual harassment and the old boys network rife in the industries that I worked in.
My confidence began to ebb away. I lost my energy and my enthusiasm. I woke up exhausted, depressed and full of self doubt, having to haul myself to get up each day.
And I had a little voice. Do you know the one?
It said things like...
“Is this really it? Is this what I’ve worked so hard to create?” “Is this the sum total of your life?”
Perhaps for you it’s not a voice maybe it’s that invisible force that jolts you awake at 4am every day, or that patch of itchy skin in the middle of your back you’ve been worrying away at.
Maybe its signs that your hair is falling out or the panic attack in the stationery cupboard before your end of day presentation.
What about the ongoing stomach issues or once a month melt downs with tears, snot bubbles and the works that are so part of the daily routine you didn’t even bother mentioning them at your last check up.
I had a deep longing for freedom and space to breathe to explore my passions and what I was really born to contribute.
In 2012 I quit. Telling my boss I was going to travel the world, write poetry and fall in love.
You may have figured it out by now, but I’m not some 25 year old hippy chick who left her first job out of uni to back pack the world and go burn a sage stick in Bali (I wish!)
When I say I quit my job to go travelling I did it at an age where I was giving up a hard earned and fought for career and all of the comforts that come with that...the properties, the savings and the long established friendships. It wasn’t easy and although it may sound idyllic It also wasn’t pretty.
Eat, Pray, Love it wasn’t.
But I do know this. Just because I made some drastic decisions and burned down the life I knew to avoid burn out...
It doesn't mean you have to...Book a Confidential Chat
My adventure stretched from a whistle stop tour around the world into a 7 year cycle of exploration and re- education.
I trained as a Hridaya (Spiritual heart) yoga and meditation teacher and retreat holder, Mystical Dance Teacher versed in the ritual and energy healing of Tantra, Taoism and sacred Temple arts. I deeply connected to the Divine Feminine at energy sites around the world and discovered the love of the Mother through Hindu and Tantric Wisdom Goddess Ceremony and Shamanism.
I spent thousands of dollars of therapists, coaches and healers. Some good, some amazing and some not so much!
I also learned that it was going to take more than a meditation practice to heal the blocks that were holding me back from shining my light in the world.
I discovered the need to own my value, visibility and my voice in order to get my message across and all the ways that we’ve been held back collectively, culturally and consciously as women from doing just that.
Throughout my journey I was hamstrung between learning how to tap into following my heart, my joy and my pleasure and live my potential in the world whilst battling resistance, self sabotage and acting out of the fear, obligation and guilt that comes from a history of being the good girl, people pleaser and all round nice, spiritual woman and care taker of OPFs. Other People’s Feelings.
I reclaimed my power through deep mind set work, studying with the extraordinary world psychologist and award winning celebrity therapist Marisa Peer qualifying as one of her Rapid Transformational Therapists and am currently completing my certification to become a Feminine Power Coach and Leader with Dr Claire Zammit and her team of incredible change -makers at Evolving Wisdom.Yes! Let's Connect!